KC Zoo Tiger Donation

To help fulfill Mason's dream and help the Tigers:
KC Zoo Attn Laura Berger "In Memory of Mason Kempf" 6800 Zoo Dr Kansas City, MO 64132

For the beauty of Snow and Magic on Christmas :
Elves of Christmas Present PO Box 3535
Olathe, KS 66063

Monday, January 3, 2011

Escape

There is no escape, reality has been knocking on our door for a long time. Today I finished cleaning from the holidays, the confetti finally vacuumed off the floor. After making lunch, Mason was trying to tell me something. And I can't believe how I replied, "I could not understand one word you just said" And then tears and then 15 minutes later he slowly told me, "I fell flat on my face and hit my head on the floor" Do I ever feel like the worst mom. I walked around in a daze today knowing that the New Year was going to be tough and that life can not go on sugar coated forever. I find myself asking Mason yes or no questions. Mason nods or shakes his head. He prefers not to talk when others are around. There may come a time where we wish no visits; so please understand as your friendship mean so much. Mason escapes reality by computer and video games. He has even logged all the games he plays. Star Wars Lego echos in my head. It is a challenge at lunch and dinner. Tonight was a bowl of Life cereal. Lunch, peanut butter and jelly. Chocolate milk and yogurt drinks are his favorite too. While mom and dad enjoy the wonderful home-cooked meals from friends. There is so much to be thankful for. Even when smiles and laughter seem to fade, we thank you for being there. So thank you for letting us Escape reality during the holidays.
A poem I wrote awhile ago seems fitting tonight; as I know no other way to describe my emotions. Everyday we cherish each smile and especially the laughs that fills our hearts with joy.

Come out and Play
Tell me how to face each day,
The clouds are all too gray.
Can Mason come out to play?
What's a mom to say?
Where's our normal day?
Why must it be this way?
Please, Mason come out and play!!
Numbness won't ever go away.
Tears fall down like rain,
Why this forever Pain?
Where is our rainbow today?
I'd do anything to watch you play.

13 comments:

Hope4Lindsey said...

Sending love and prayers your way. Praying with you for happy days, miracles and ultimately a CURE!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lindseysteltenpohl

Anonymous said...

No words....just love. You are surrounded by it; I hope it helps in some small way.

Amy said...

And more love. Thank you for your open heart and honesty, Andria. Hugs to you and Mason, and all the Kempfs.

Lelia said...

You are an amazing mom and also human. Please know that so many people admire, love and send prayers of support to all of your family.

Brandie said...

I love you all so much, you are in my thoughts and prayers every day. Please call if I can bring anything by your house (Oreo blast, coke, cereal, anything), just let me know. Love you guys!

Kim Foster said...

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are a terrific mom! Hugs to all of you!

Melinda said...

Thank you so much for sharing so much of what's on your mind and in your heart. You touch so many of us - please do not be hard on yourself - ((HUGS)) and more ((HUGS)) to you.

Anonymous said...

Andria, even though you feel like you are a bad mom, kids always forgive and forget. Mason is a very smart boy and I'm sure he is not holding anything bitter towards you. Take a deep breath and just take each moment at a time. All of us, moms, feel like we are harsh sometimes. You have been given a lot to deal with and that is because God knew you could. Maybe you are asking yourself "why me?" Why not someone else like all the people reading the blog;no one knows why life is so unfair but you just have to stay strong. You changed alot of people's lives by sharing your life. Many people go through life without leaving any mark and no one can say that about you. Andria, you have done a lot for all of us by sharing your struggles and letting us know Mason. Take care of yourself.
Your friend

Anonymous said...

Hi, I read you post everyday and make my a bit strong to deal with my daughter Belen, she is 6 and have the same condition as you son. was diagnosed on august 10. I cant write as well as you do but thanks for charing. kissess and hug I will like to be just half as you. xxx

Misic Family said...

Such a beautiful and touching poem. I wish there was more I could do to help you all through this. I am sending you all of my strength and prayers. I know your strength reserves must be getting low. Please let us know whatever we can do for you. Whatever support we can offer is yours. Always!
Love and hugs,
Melissa, Zoran, Aubrey, Zach and Zaylee Misic

Anonymous said...

Never doubt that you are an amazing mom! Everyone has moments. As I told you before, I truly think God knew what He was doing when He gave You & Eddie to Mason as his parents. You are both amazing people! Much love to you all! ~ Carolyn

Anonymous said...

Each day at a time as you said. Mason knows how much you all love him. Our arms are around you to help give you strength. Love Aunt G and Uncle S. in NY.

Tiffany said...

Thanks for sharing a "normal mom moment" in what must feels so far away from being a "normal mom" right now.