Visions

Sometimes I wish I could climb aboard the next passing cloud and drift away; if I could just see you one more day.

It's a quiet Friday. I actually just drove for an hour after dropping Ally at preschool. Ally loves school. I actually have written 2 other unpublished posts to be shared someday. It is good for me to write, I feel it is helpful; sometimes I get self-conscious. However, I have learned so much from allowing my heart to be an open door.
I keep having visions. Visions from St. Jude, visions of Mason. I miss his smile so much. My heart has a forever hole that continues to grow deeper. Pain comes and goes; sometimes it keeps its distance and then strikes harder with no warning. You wouldn't know it on the outside. Oreo always senses when the pain is strong, she nudges me and stares. If she could talk she would still say nothing.
I am proud of my family; we are spending more time together. Whether it's a bike ride or dinner time we are there for each other. I am so fortunate to have such an amazing and remarkable husband. He has always been supportive and thankful that I stay at home and raise our kids. I look back; now more than ever, and wouldn't change it for the world. I will always have those memories and time. My two boys at play. And oh how I miss my two boys at play. Memories and treasured love.