Thoughts in the middle of the night

Guess what? My allergy medicine is non-drowsy. So here I am. Thankful for our community of family and friends. Tonight was the Back-to-School Bash. And there were many smiles and familiar faces.
So after arriving home, I shared a poem with Eddie about a pair of shoes. It is a poem that I found written by a mother who lost her 5 month old son. I feel compelled to share the poem.

"A Pair of Shoes"
author unknown

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don’t hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think
about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

It does NOT amaze me; there are a few that find us unapproachable. Could it be because we appear fragile? That we don't cry enough? That words just don't come easy? Words might seem offensive? I find myself wondering, "Did I say something wrong in the blog?" But in reality we just want to be normal. It is hard to imagine normality, it keeps its distance from us. But please don't be afraid, we are still the same people, forever walking with a different stride.
This is not directed to one person, maybe nobody at all, maybe it is us, maybe we are the ones that feel so odd. We read stories weekly about a child gaining his/her wings, I still struggle with words of comfort. It just isn't right. I never knew 46 kids are diagnosed with cancer everyday. 7 kids die from cancer everyday. But now we do, and what do we do?
There are times when I have decided to stop writing the blog, and then anger or pain boils inside and I begin to write. I want to do something to make a difference; even though I feel our hands are tied.
As Eddie read the September magazine of Parenting, an article exists on Breast Cancer, but what about Childhood Cancer? Is it too unapproachable? It exists you know. Next month is September, Childhood Cancer Awareness. I carry HOPE inside my heart; with more awareness; more steps to finding a cure. So, I close for the night hoping someday another parent will not have to start their day wearing uncomfortable shoes. And I still am here to write, even if it's just you and me.