KC Zoo Tiger Donation

To help fulfill Mason's dream and help the Tigers:
KC Zoo Attn Laura Berger "In Memory of Mason Kempf" 6800 Zoo Dr Kansas City, MO 64132

For the beauty of Snow and Magic on Christmas :
Elves of Christmas Present PO Box 3535
Olathe, KS 66063

Monday, April 18, 2011

Twinkle Twinkle...

Here we are Monday. All weekend images flashed in my mind, like a movie playing in fast forward and stuck on replay. Mason, you are everywhere. I can still hear your last mumbled word, "Chick" for chicken nuggets that you could not even swallow without choking. Hanging from the living room wall, I am mesmerized from the Sumatran Tiger. It's picture is powerful as it reminds us of Mason's wisdom, bravery and strength he bestowed each day. And your last watercolor painting, how I wish I could watch as you painted each colorful tree watching... as the colors ran together. Wondering what you were thinking as you painted there reflections. Wishing more than ever I would have asked you this or done that. Just one more time at the McDonald's drive thru to see your smile as you sip a chocolate shake, would you like a new flavor? We move in every direction these days; too afraid to slow down. But trying to be brave for those moments when time stands still. Waiting and listening for a sign to tug me in the right direction. Holding strong for Maverick and Ally. Maverick described the weekend just right, "I felt I was," Off leash" I immediately knew what he meant. It is that sense of being out of control and having your emotions tugged so hard and it does not matter what you do!! It is wanting something so bad, but you can't turn back the pages. Even Twinkle Twinkle Star has a new tune, "Twinkle Twinkle, "Mason" Star how we wonder how you are, up above the star so high, you are a diamond in the sky."Twinkle Twinkle "Mason" Star how we miss you, oh so far." As we closed our eyes, Ally proudly requests, "I want the Easter bunny to bring a "REAL" red airplane- to fly up to Heaven and see Mason. When I try to explain, she kept saying, "A real one mom and a really super fast one like rocket." What a wish... Airplanes is playing in my head, Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars. I know why some stars twinkle and others do not.


Amy said...

Hi Andria, How you must miss Mason...I can't even begin to understand the depth of the anguish you must feel. Thankfully you have tons of joyous moments to remember of your time with him. I imagine you must just ache at not being able to physically hold him close but I know you have him close in your heart. What wonderful loving you are getting from Ally and Maverick, such great children. Enjoy the lovely day. My thoughts are with you always. ♥ ~Amy

beck said...

beautiful, Andria. just beautiful!

Anonymous said...

Andria, just wanted to tell you that I also thought of Mason every time the "Airplanes" song came on it. I kept on thinking "oh please shooting stars help Mason be with his family longer." No family should ever go through what you have been faced with, just not fair.

Anonymous said...

What do you say when someone you love is hurting so bad? Is there really anything that can be said to ease your pain? I know how my heart feels and can only imagine what you, Eddie and kids must be feeling. I actually try to imagine it was me in your shoes and then I stop myself. It is just too hard to do.

You continue to write such beautiful things on your post and stay positive and I know deep inside you must have so many other emotions boiling. Use this site for you to heal...when you are mad, say it, when you confused, say it, when you sad, say it. We are here to listen and to feel what you are feeling...both good and bad.

We all feel a HUGE sadness that can't be explained...and an anger because it is NOT fair and confusion as to why?

I see his picture and I weep...not for him but for you...NO mother should lose her child. I can only tell you that I love you and when you want to yell, scream, hit, cry, laugh or just talk...I am here for you...24/7!


Brandie said...

Wishing you strength and renewed strength again... until you no longer need it. Praying for your family with all I have. Love you guys so much. A beautiful post, thank you for writting it.

Anonymous said...

Today I was thinking of Mason and his question about Easter and his wish to have his green eggs just like last year. Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts - Carrie said it well - we are hear to listen to your beautiful thoughts and encourage you to share all your feelings. Hopefully this will be a healing process for you and a growing process for all of us who read your posts.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you tonight