Yesterday was unbearable. I felt trapped in a stage where nothing will ever get better. How can we move forward when pain keeps pulling us in the wrong direction? I can't even look at the word "grieve". I won't even describe my heart as I drove to pick up the death certificate. I know it's just a piece of paper, it's amazing how a piece of paper can cut your heart in two. A piece of PAPER, I will never gaze my eyes upon. It seems like yesterday we were signing papers that Mason would be ours forever, excitement in the air, a new changed me, I was a MOM!!
And here I continue to pour out my heart...I know it may seem strange to some. You know sharing our personal feelings and such. But it's those moments throughout this journey we experienced the love and compassion from complete strangers. We found a new meaning to life leaving our hearts wide open. We all live, we all poop and we all die. And we are not alone, unfortunately childhood cancer effects other families too. Others have to experience the same indescribable pain.
As I've said before; tomorrow starts a new day. Old memories swirl in my head and I am reminded of an old quote, "What are you going to paint today?" Today starts a fresh new canvas. It's your day! Pain will always be here, but it doesn't stop us from standing up and making a difference. Someone reminded me, "We are still a family", a family that has to keep living, loving and laughing. (and even pooping)
Many Links of Mason
- Mason's Legacy Continues December 2011
- Make a Difference for Mason-facebook
- Lights, Stripes, and SNOW-facebook
- Heartland Lions Eye Bank Article
- Brookridge BBQ video-facebook (2010)
- Magic of Christmas-Youtube
- 2010 Summer Memories-Youtube
- Channel 9 News Valentines for Mason
- Channel 41 Valentines for Mason
- Fox 4 News Keeping Mason's Memory Alive
- Dynamite Video - Youtube